


Candy Apple

by FailureArtist



Series: Friendship & Stuff Cinematic Universe [6]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Backstory, Child Neglect, Corpse-kissing, Crisis of Faith, Gen, Homophobia, Humanstuck, Kid Fic, Parental Death, Pentacostal Church, Religion, domestic abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:41:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22337203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FailureArtist/pseuds/FailureArtist
Summary: 2000-2011: Gamzee's life from his mother's death to his father's.
Relationships: Gamzee Makara & Kurloz Makara, Gamzee Makara/Tavros Nitram
Series: Friendship & Stuff Cinematic Universe [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1532495
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	Candy Apple

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Parental death, death from repeated physical abuse, emotional neglect, internalized homophobia, religious homophobia, ableist comment from an asshole

The late Susan Makara was an easy job for the embalmers. She had passed away at only age 24. Her brain had rattled in her skull so much it finally gave out and she died in her sleep. There were no major injuries to cover up, just a few bruises. The embalmers might have wondered how a woman who did not do any sports ended up in this state but they were not paid to care. 

So the young woman before her only son Gamzee looked as if she was just sleeping. A week ago, he woke up in the middle of the night to find her lying by the broken coffee table. Buckley looked at Gamzee, then immediately went to help his wife up. She kissed Gamzee on the forehead, told him to go back to sleep, and stumbled off into her bedroom. Gamzee knew his Momma was clumsy and this was not the first time he walked in on a scene like this, so he found it easy to go back to sleep. The next morning, he was woken up by his Daddy telling him Mommy never woke up. Her body was taken away before he could see it, but now he finally had the chance to see it.

The five year old had recently seen both _Snow White_ and _Sleeping Beauty_. He knew what to do. He leaned over the coffin as far as he could and kissed her on the lips. They were ice-cold despite the flush in her cheeks and waxy too, but he still kissed them. He did not feel warmth return nor any fluttering. Yet he held the position though he was afraid he would fall in. Suddenly, he was pulled away by two hands. Aunt Megan scowled at him. 

“Stop it, that’s unsanitary!” she yelled.

“But I want her to wake up!” Gamzee yelled back with tears in his eyes. 

“She’s not asleep, she’s d-” She paused. “She’s in Heaven and you’ll see her later if you’re a good boy.”

“When? When can I see her?”

“Not for many many years.”

“But I wanna see her now! I want her to wake up!”

“Look, just be a good boy and go to church and you’ll see her!”

Gamzee threw himself on the floor of the funeral parlor and pounded it hard with his little fists. 

“I don’t wanna be a good boy! I wanna see her now! Now!”

A group of adults stood around Gamzee and tried to get him to calm down but failed. It was then Aunt Megan’s son Kurloz came over. The eleven-year-old was wearing a new black suit, the first suit he had ever worn. His blond hair was as long as his parents allowed. He squatted down by the angry child.

“There be a time for all things,” Kurloz said.

“There _is_ a time for all things,” his mother said.

Kurloz continued, “One day you’ll be a special boy in Heaven, if you just wait.”

Gamzee stopped his tantrum and looked up at Kurloz. “Special boy?”

“You are already a special boy down here, why not above? You will be crowned prince.”

“If I’m a prince, can I kiss Momma awake?”

“Certainly.”

Kurloz wasn’t sure it was true. His side of the family practiced a half-hearted Episcopalian faith. He had never before heard his mother express such sentiments about religion. Yet Gamzee’s mother was a fervent Pentecostal. Kurloz read a lot about religion and mythology but there was never any faith that moved him beyond a vague theism. However, he was a great believer in making this young relative smile at him. 

Gamzee hugged Kurloz, and Kurloz hugged him back. Kurloz saw his Uncle Buckley standing there with his hands in his pocket, not even attempting to comfort his son. Kurloz felt like he could have killed his uncle at that moment. If it weren’t for human law and his uncle being much bigger than him, he would have. He had heard Aunt Susan’s family whisper about how awful Uncle Buckley was and how they suspected he was responsible for his wife’s death. Kurloz loved Aunt Susan. She had said it would be wonderful if he got a career in music, while Mom had pointed out the odds were against him and he’d need a “real career”. If only Aunt Susan and his Dad got together and his Mom was left nitpicking someone else’s grammar. 

Gamzee pulled his face away from Kurloz’s suit. Kurloz gave him a handkerchief to wipe his face dry.

“I’ll be a good boy and go to church,” he declared.

* * *

So Gamzee continued going to church every Sunday. It was difficult since his Dad was not interested in going, but there were plenty of people in the congregation willing to give the pious boy a drive. Though Gamzee was terrible in weekday school, he excelled at Sunday School. He actually had teachers who praised him. The Bible was the only book he was interested in. The kids at church were easier to get along with than the kids at school. He talked like them despite being from a white family. The church was where Gamzee was most happy. 

His home life was empty. His father ignored him most of the time, except when he yelled at Gamzee for disturbing his relaxation. He would slap Gamzee some times, but for the most part he decided physical violence was too dangerous. Gamzee still loved his father. Everyone told him his father loved him, so why shouldn’t he love him back? 

In truth, Buckley did not love Gamzee. He had been fine with his brother carrying on the Makara name. Yet he married a woman who did not believe in birth control so here he was. 

So instead of finding love from his father, Gamzee found love from the church. It seemed likely that Gamzee would be baptized in the Holy Spirit. Maybe he would even become a preacher. Then, one Sunday in 2005, the preacher gave a sermon on how homosexuals were destroying marriage. Gamzee thought weddings were fun and he did not like that homosexuals would ruin them. However, he did not know what homosexuals were. After asking his Sunday school teacher what homosexuals were, she blushed and told him to look up Leviticus 18:22. He opened his King James Bible (the only version that wasn’t fake) and found this:

_Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination._

He had only just learned what sex was and he was still iffy on the mechanics, but that did not seem possible. Still, it was clearly an abomination. Chapter 20 verse 13 was even harsher. It called for death for both mankinds and Gamzee knew that meant death by stoning. His church did not do stonings, of course, though he had heard some old people say they should be brought back for naughty children. Still, it would be best to avoid lying the wrong way with the wrong person. Gamzee thought he could do that. He closed the book and decided that ended the matter.

* * *

Yet that was the start of a rift between him and his Pentecostal faith. It was like when Tavros first told Gamzee he would not understand college business. It didn’t seem to mean much at the time but eventually it would. Every time Gamzee saw an attractive boy and lingered just a little too long looking at him and wondering what it would be like to touch him, the rift grew. 

Then Gamzee met Tavros, the cutest and nicest boy, and the rift split wide open. It wasn’t love at first sight, but then came that moment.

* * *

They were outside sitting at a picnic table on a lovely September day in 2010. Tavros had his chair next to him. He was talking about Pokemon. While he babbled on, Gamzee listened not with his ears or his brain but with his heart. Then, in a moment, he felt a warmth that was only supposed to come during the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. Tavros was the cutest boy in the world and Gamzee would be happy to spend the rest of his life with him. Gamzee would ruin weddings forever if it meant being with Tavros. 

“Gamzee?” Tavros asked, “Are you, okay?”

Gamzee realized he was crying. 

“Umm, gotta go!” he yelled as he leapt off the bench and ran away. 

* * *

The next afternoon Gamzee went to Kurloz for weed and advice in the basement. Kurloz had been doing much better for himself lately. He was learning sign language and teaching Gamzee. Gamzee told Kurloz about his crush on Tavros. 

“Do it really be okay to be…” He couldn’t say it so he finger-spelled G-A-Y.

**ARE YOU…** (Kurloz signed with one hand)… _G-A-Y?_

“I think I’m likin’ myself…both.”

**I AM LIKE YOU.**

“Wow,” Gamzee said. His friend Karkat had already come out as bisexual, yet here was another bro coming out as something that was supposed to be rare.

**THE SIGN FOR IT IS THUS.** He signed B and I at his chin.

“Thanks for the lesson? But, still…do you think…ain’t it a sin to lie with a man as like a woman?” 

**DON’T LISTEN TO ALL THE IGNORANT MOTHERFUCKERS. YOU MAY LIE WITH WHICHEVER SEX YOU WANT.**

“Can I lie with…” He signed _Fairy Bull_ and added a shrug.

Kurloz consciously pulled a face at that custom sign. **IF YOU THINK HE COULD EVER BE WORTHY OF YOU.**

“Why wouldn’t he be?”

**HE IS HALF A BOY.**

“Well, he’s got my half!” Gamzee laughed at his own joke.

Kurloz sighed. Tavros was unfit in so many ways before Earthly and Unearthly, but he knew Gamzee would never hear of it. Not until he was enlightened. 

* * *

Still, even after this revelation, it took time for Gamzee to date Tavros. First, Gamzee joined the Gay-Straight Alliance at his high school. He stopped attending his childhood church as much. When a GSA member suggested he go to Unitarian services with him, Gamzee went. Another member suggested the Quaker church but he wasn’t as cute. He felt such a relief going to an accepting community he felt confident to ask Tavros out for a Valentine’s Day date in 2011. Life was going great.

* * *

A few months later, on a hot August night, Buckley Makara was killed while trying to stop a gas station robbery. 

* * *

Gamzee sat on the bench in the graveyard with Karkat and Kurloz. Gamzee had broke out into loud sobbing at the sermon but now his tears were dried out. Still, Kurloz was rubbing Gamzee’s back while Karkat talked to him. 

“I know some of your stuffy relatives looked down on that,” Karkat said, “But I think it’s good you got that shit out.”

Gamzee said, “I know, bro, I know, it just be…I wonder…if it’s my motherfuckin’ fault he dead cause I pissed off God?”

“How could you ever piss off God? You talk him up all the time and go to that church every Sunday and every event.” 

“But do it be the right church? Maybe it do be as Satanic as all the motherfuckers in my old church say.”

“Look, I’m not the one to talk about this. I think both churches are equally stupid. Well, I think the Pentecostal Church is worse, maybe much worse. But I don’t know if there’s a church that isn’t stupid.”

“You really be thinking that? There ain’t no good church out there?”

Kurloz thought this might be the time to strike. Tell his cousin - no, tell part of his own soul - that there was a church that was the opposite of stupid and it was custom-made for them. Yet then Tavros wheeled up.

“This cemetery is hard, to get around.” 

Gamzee’s face lit up. “Glad you could make it, T-bro!”

“You were talking, about churches, right?”

Gamzee’s face fell again. “Yeah, I’m afraid God has it out for me for ditching his true church.”

“I think, the Unitarian Church, is the true one, since it makes you happy, and it means we can be together.”

Gamzee scooted over to Tavros and kissed him for a long time. Kurloz felt anger inside him watching them. If he could, he would kill Tavros, but it was hard enough arranging for Uncle Buckley’s death. 

“It be a motherfucking miracle,” Gamzee said, “You done said the exact perfect truth.”

“Thanks.”

Well, Kurloz thought, he could at least say this. He stood up and took his electrolarynx out.

**YOU WILL BE LIVING WITH ME FROM NOW ON.**

“Forever?” Gamzee asked.

**I WILL ADOPT YOU.**

Gamzee hadn’t been thinking about who would adopt him, though it was obvious someone had to do so. He had been staying at Kurloz’s house these past few days but this was still a surprise. 

“But you only twenty-two years old,” Gamzee said.

**DO YOU WANT TO GO TO ARIZONA WITH MY PARENTS?**

Gamzee looked at Tavros. Then he turned back to Kurloz and shook his head.

**THEN YOU WILL COME WITH ME.**

Kurloz put his electrolarynx away. He held his hand out and Gamzee took it. The older cousin helped the younger cousin up.

_Let’s go now_ , Kurloz signed. 

Gamzee turned to Karkat and Tavros. 

“I’ll pester you motherfuckers later. Thanks for coming!”

Tavros threw a kiss. Karkat waved. The two cousins left for the parking lot.

When the cousins were far away, Karkat asked Tavros, “Do you like Kurloz? I sure don’t.”

“He can be scary, but he’s good for Gamzee.”

Karkat sighed. “I guess.”

Meanwhile, the two Makaras stood outside the truck. Kurloz turned to Gamzee and started signing.

_I will fight for you._ His hand position suggested he meant for the far future.

Gamzee signed back, _Thanks._

_I mean it. The family might object but I am the only one who wants you._

“Really?”

_This will go easy if you obey me._

_Sorry, I am sloppy._

_I will get you clean._

Gamzee nodded. Kurloz turned away and started the truck. As they drove back to Kurloz’s house, Gamzee felt confident his life would not really change much. There would be some adjustment, living permanently with Kurloz, but he’d still have church and Tavros and friends. Life really did work out sometimes. It was a miracle. 


End file.
